Reset

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Have you ever just wished there was a reset button you could push?  On your day, your mood, a sports game, or even on a workout?  Did your bad attitude affect the outcome of bad situations? Of good ones? Sometimes things just don’t go as planned and when that happens, pushing reset, and re-evaluating the situation can really turn things around.

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Today the twins were scheduled for bone marrow biopsy. Since they are infants they are always scheduled for anesthetic procedures first thing in the morning. They were put on NPO (can’t eat or drink anything) at midnight last night. Well things started to go off the tracks around 7 am. We were told that Kendal wouldn’t even be called down for surgery until 11:00 am. 11:00 AM!!! If any of you know Kendal, you know homegirl gets hangry!  Aaron and I were upset, to put it nicely. Being called down at 11:00 meant surgery around 11:30, for Kendal. And then if they were quick, maybe Kenedi would get in at 12:30.  After factoring in recovery and everything, that would be 12+ hours for Kendal without food and 13+ hours for Kenedi. For babies they’ve been forcing to eat every 3 hours so they would gain weight, this seemed a little counterproductive to withhold food for so long. After having several heated discussions with the nurses and doctors we decided to proceed with the surgeries this morning (or should I say, afternoon) but made it clear that if this happened again, rescheduling would be done.
Thankfully, the girls weren’t too upset this morning and we were called down at 10:45. Kendal went back into surgery at 11:19. They came to get Aaron around 11:50 to be with Kendal in recovery. Usually the anesthesiologists come by 5 minutes later to pick up Kenedi, but after 10 minutes we were still sitting there. Finally a nurse peeked in to tell us it would “be a bit”.  I then learned that the wonderful (and mysterious) scheduler ended up putting patients IN BETWEEN Kendal and Kenedi. How on Earth does that make sense? That’s when I lost it.  There were raised voices, curse words and tears. I imagined I looked a lot like Teagan during one of her terrible two tantrums.  I did apologize to the nurse because I knew it was not her fault but she received the brunt of my frustration. She was sweet and helped me get it together and directed me to the people I needed to speak with to get a better plan made for next time. Finally, at 1:10 Kenedi was called back for surgery and was in recovery at 2:00. After 14 hours without food, she slammed 3 oz in 5 minutes. Most she’s taken from a bottle in a few weeks!
Throughout the day I was texting and messaging friends and family about the ridiculousness that was ensuing and complaining relentlessly. Then it hit me. I need to push the reset button. Yes, everything that was happening was dumb and preventable, but my attitude was making it worse!  (At one point today I refused to answer any further questions my nurse asked because 1. they know the answers to questions like “has Kendal received any blood products in the last 3 months”. Really? We’ve lived here for 30 days and your computer system can’t tell you she’s received 3 bags of platelets and 2 bags of blood. 2.  This delay happened last time we had surgery down there. The same delay! And 3. I was just being a stubborn ass). I realized that none of this was helping anyone!  I needed to reset and adjust my attitude to the situation, stat.
After this realization I fixed my face and thoughts. I calmly spoke with the nurse manager who spoke with the head of pediatric surgery. They all agreed that they need to do better for next time. Because there will be a next time. And a next time. The girls will be having these biopsies often and these delays and issues need to be fixed. Because I changed my attitude from attack dog, overly emotional, sleep deprived momma bear mode, tomorrow we will be meeting with a team to work out a plan for the next biopsy.  To ensure this does not happen again.
As for the twins, they both tolerated the biopsy well, ate like champs after, and have been resting most of the afternoon. We should receive the results from the biopsies late next week and we will create a plan after that. Kenedi’s ANC was 260 today, which is good. She’s getting there. Kendal’s was a whopping 1300!! We are pumped for this and pray that both girls continue improving while we are in this limbo between chemo rounds.

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