Her name was Kendal

There is a stigma around death. Especially the death of a child. I get it. I understand. Before this was my reality, I too would become frozen with fear, or at the very least, uncomfortable, when someone would mention they had experienced the death of one of their children. I wouldn’t know what to do or say and often I would change the subject to something I thought was, more pleasant. But after experiencing the loss of Kendal, of living daily with her not here, if I’ve learned anything it would be that we want nothing more than to talk about her. To say her name. To talk about the memories we have with her.  And will continue to talk about her until the end of our days.

Kendal was the sweetest soul you ever did meet.  Her smile could melt you in a second.  But also, don’t be fooled, within seconds that grump fish face could come out, too!

Kendal was my cuddle bug of all my kiddos.  She loved sitting on your lap hanging out, watching movies or singing.  She would pat your arm while you held her.  The sweetest.

Out of all the kids, Kendal was the one who could sleep like no one’s business. When the twins were sleeping in the same room, Kenedi would stay up until 9 or 10 each night chatting to herself. My girl Kendal would ask for bed at 630, was sleeping at 7, and I would have to wake her the next morning at 7, and she wasn’t happy! Girl loved her sleep!

Kendal was one coordinated cookie! She could throw the ball (or remote when we were trapped in the hospital) further than any of my other kiddos. She was quick and not clumsy in the least. I’m sure she would have been a fantastic athlete.

Kendal loved movies. Finding Nemo, Finding Dory, Moana, Sing, Storks, Zootopia, 101 Dalmatians, and the list goes on. She was a girl after my own heart, reciting parts of movies before they even happened. She also loved music and dancing (hence why she loved Sing so much). I too loved music from a young age. It still plays a large role in my life. Many songs I listen to daily remind me of my sweet girl.

Kendal LOVED babies. She had an obsession with her cousin, Cooper, who is 11 months old right now. She loved seeing him and was so sweet with him. She often tried to share her drink or toys with him (and would ultimately get angry when he wouldn’t know how to play with said toy). I know she would have been the best big sister.

Kendal was a Taurus and she lived up to her sign. Although she was a sweet soul down deep, on the surface she was stubborn, strong willed, and bull headed (just like her momma!) She was the “aggressor” of the twins and would steal and hoard toys from Kenedi, and if Kenedi attempted to do the same, Kendal would not have it. Thankfully, Kenedi was easy going so fights rarely occurred.

Kendal had a love for her puppy, Ammo, like none other. When we were inpatient and would FaceTime with dad and sisters, she would constantly ask to see Ammo instead of them. She loved to give him hugs and kisses.

Kendal had a routine and stuck to it. Again, her mother’s child! She had a favorite lovey (or 30) that she had to sleep with every night. Her lovey, her blanket, and her cup went to bed with her every night. I would have to tuck her in with her blankets, pat her belly until she told me “nigh-nigh lub you” to which that meant leave because girl was ready to sleep!

Kendal was my middle child. A twin. A sister. A daughter. Kendal lived and enjoyed life to the fullest in her 2 short years. Please, if you see me, don’t ever hesitate to bring her name up. In fact, please do so. Even if I tear up or cry a bit while we chat about her.  Please.  Continue.  We talk about Kendal all the time in our house. We talk about what she’s doing in heaven, what she’s eating – Teagan thinks mostly candy. We talk about the fun times we had in the years we had with her. We talk about how we wish she was still here and how sad we are. And how it’s okay to be sad and how it’s okay to be happy.  We talk about her every day. Say her name.

Her name was Kendal.